The Mash Up of the Messed Up

I realise that sitting at home feeling sick and sorry for myself just means that I'm going to listen to soppy music or read through my old blogs like I totally always do. But this time I have zero sadness and a reaffirmed happiness. I found something that I wrote in August last year - and whilst it's taken me a while (well, not that long I suppose...) I've done something completely ridiculous that I've always wanted to do...
Attaching the blog entry here:
"Everyone is doing all this stuff with their lives and I'm really excited for them. Part of me thinks that I should do something crazy with mine. Like - I was thinking that today I should just get on a plane and go to Paris for a week. Like why not right? I have the money. It's not an issue. Why shouldn't I do that? But then - I think to myself how silly that sounds and how I should plan it out and think it through and do it right - travel right across Europe whilst I'm there, not be so silly and flippant. But I mean, how many people can say they just up and went to Paris one day, no thoughts and no regrets. I want to be one of those people that just does whatever they want too and doesn't think too much or worry at all. But I'm not. I have an extensive to do list for each day that I write out every night when I'm in bed with my cup of tea and my heater on. I feel so horrid when there is no structure in my life. Oh well ... One day. One day I'll just go and not think. Then perhaps I'll have something to write about that isn't completely boring. And I'll know how I want to start my story. "

So now perhaps I will figure out how my story starts, and though I may never actually know the ending or even want to think of that yet, perhaps I'm going to find myself that one step closer to starting to write again.